Newsgroups: alt.butt.harp Subject: RICHH: RUTH OR DARE III Message-ID: <1992Apr28.201912.8310@tigger.jvnc.net> From: richh@tigger.jvnc.net (RICHH) Date: Tue, 28 Apr 1992 20:19:12 GMT Sender: news@tigger.jvnc.net (Zee News Genie) Organization: JvNCnet, Princeton University, NJ Lines: 352 Disclaimer: The following story contains naughty bits. If you are under 18, or if this has somehow wandered onto the K12 net, STOP READING NOW. Do not, I repeat, do not email it to all your friends. And for God's sake do not make a printout of it and distribute copies all over your school. I mean sure, it'll be cool and all, and you'll probably have lots of new friends, and you'll probably even get lots of dates which will lead to numerous nights of hot, sticky backseat passion, but like, you could get in big trouble. Cause I know a kid who did it and sure, it was cool for awhile, but all the new friends he made weren't like *real* friends. Plus like, it's all fully and legally copyrighted and if you think you're so tough now, let's see how you feel after a few months in the joint sharing a cell with a disgruntled former Kinko's employee with something to prove. Copyright prison--you wouldn't last a day. That being said, I give you: TRUTH OR DARE--PART III [Once I ran to you, Now I run from you This tainted love you're giving, I give you all a boy can give Take my hand and that's not nearly--] "Where the hell did you find that, How?" asked Maria. "In the archives. Cool tape." "Where are Erin and Josh?" "They'll be here," said Karen. "Relax. I'm gonna order some pizzas." Howard said, "Call California Pizza. Get a couple of Super Hawaiians." "And a small plain," added Maria. Karen called and ordered. "They said twenty minutes or so." "Cool," said Howard, already lighting a bowl. "I'm starved." A knock. "They're here," said Maria, her skirt whooshing as she ran to the door. Josh and Erin came in. "We ordered some pizza," said Karen. "It'll be here soon." Tia Carerra, that Oriental woman from Wayne's World was on MTV, singing her cover of 'Ballroom Blitz'. "Ooh, check this out." Maria turned up the volume. [...and the girl in the corner lets no one ignore her cause she thinks she's the passionate one. It's electric, so frightfully hectic--] Then she muted it and added, [from another dimension, with voyeuristic intentions--] Erin said, "I haven't seen Rocky Horror in so long." Karen said, "Up at the Video Library they have a copy that's subtitled in Japanese. But I can understand it because I'm fluent in all the Romance languages." "And Australian," I added, getting some drinks together. I set up the six glasses, poured in a shot of Absolut. Josh came over. "What are you concocting now?" He saw the Bailey's and the Strawberry Schnapps. "Watch. This is the tricky part. I poured the Bailey's over the back of a spoon and it settled into a grayish blob on top of the vodka. "It's called a brain hemorrhage. There's the brain--" I held the schnapps about a foot over the glass. "Here comes the hemorrhage." I poured in the schnapps and it went straight to the bottom, dragging bits of the Bailey's with it. "That is soooo nasty-looking." "It's all right. You drink it all at once and you end up with a nice glop of gloop on the back of your tongue." We passed the drinks to everyone. "What's with all these Wings covers? What's next? Ministry doing 'Band on the Run?'" "Skinny Puppy is gonna cover 'Silly Love Songs.' Karen downed her hemorrhage. "This should be called a blowjob. Tastes kinda funky." "Where the *fuck* is that pizza?" said Maria. "It's been over 45 minutes." "I'll give em a call." I picked up the phone in the living room. Howard, nix this tape. [And I run I run so far away--] "Any suggestions?" "Yeah. Something cool. Make the girls wanna dance." He passed the bowl to Josh and headed to the stereo. I called the pizza place. "Hello? Yeah, we ordered some pizzas a while ago and it's been over an hour--On his way--Well, the problem is, we got a kid here, and she's hypoglycemic--yeah, yeah--*Well, *anything*? A candy bar? A sixpack of Pepsi? Some glucose solution? Do you know what the first signs of shock are? Shit, cover her with a blanket, How. Any minute? Fine. Thanks. [My spy boy saw you spy boy sittin' by the fi-yo My spy boy told your spy boy, "I'm gonna set you flag on fi-yo."] "Ooh, Howard," said Maria, pulling Erin up to dance with her. "You're the best." [I said, "Hey now," "Hey now," Aiko Aiko all day, jockomo feno na na nay, jockomoa feena nay.] Josh emptied the bowl and refilled with some of his own. Maria was completely nuts. Erin said, "Maria, what's gotten into you?" "Oh, nothing. Just happy, I guess. I really really like this song." [My grandma and your grandma were sitting by the fire Said my grandma to your grandma, "Gonna get your tail on fire."] Josh took a hit and handed the bowl to Karen. "Nice," she said. "Sense?" "Columbian." Howard said, Where the hell did you find--" "Can't tell. Sorry." Karen said, "I'm going on a picnic and I'm bringing...cockroaches." I said, "Cauliflower?" "Nope." "Hornets?" said Howard. "Nope." "What's this?" said Erin. "How do you play?" "It's the picnic game. One person starts and you have to figure out what you're allowed to bring to the picnic. For example, if I said 'Toast' and you said 'Fries' and my pattern was foods that you can precede with 'French'...you see? Or it could be based on the letters of your name, anything. It's hard." "Well? Just take a guess." "Oh, I know," said Howard. "But it's not fair." "Let them guess," said Karen. "I'm bringing, "More cockroaches," said Erin. "Okay," said Karen. [When they come to take you down When they bring that wagon 'round When they come to call on you and drag your poor body down] Maria sang along. Erin said, "Just cockroaches, huh?" "I'm not telling." "Oh, I know," said Josh. "It's what will survive a nuclear war." "Not too shabby, Josh. Not too shabby at all." "Let's do something easier. Where is that pizza?" said Erin. I'm getting Major munchies." I called them again. "--low blood sugar, doesn't look good. What? His car was *stolen*? Someone else is on the way?" A knock. Karen got up. Maria said, "I dare you to answer the door with your shirt off." Karen collected money and dropped her shirt on the couch. [Just one thing I ask of you, just one thing for me Please forget you know my name, my darling Sugaree Shake it, shake it sugaree, just don't tell them that you know me Shake it, shake it sugaree, just don't tell them that you know me.] "You were right, Maria," said Erin. "They *are* nice." We all watched as she opened the door, and the pizza guy's jaw dropped to his shoes. She paid him. He said, "I-I'm awfully sorry it took so long, so w-we threw in some extra stuff. F-free." "Thanks. That was sweet." The pizza kid was visibly shaken, especially when Karen said, "Shit. Not enough money for a tip. What *can* I give you instead. Brrr, it's cold out there. Look!" But he was already gone. Now, sometimes California Pizza will call us up and ask us if we want anything. Howard and Erin got together some paper plates and Maria says, "I guess it's truth or dare time." The pizza disappeared noisily. "Does that count as the first one?" said Josh. "Nah," said Karen, finally pulling her shirt back on. "That was just random." "Man, am I buzzed," said Erin. "Howard, grab a bottle of tequila and put on some Steely Dan. I like theme music." [...the Cuervo Gold, the fine Columbian, make tonight a wonderful thing] "Ok, truth or dare, How." "Truth." "Tell us something that'd really embarrass Karen. I mean really." He laughed and said, "Well, earlier today, we were talking about the movie 'Grease' and--" "Howard..." "No, go on." "About how everyone's seen it a lot and Karen said--" Karen said, "I don't see what the big deal is." "Stop interrupting." "She said 'I have seen that movie, literally, three times.' So we got into this fight about how she doesn't know how to use the word 'literally'. She's like, 'Whaddayoumean, I *have* seen Grease three times, what's the big deal?" "Yeah," said Karen. "So?" "She still doesn't get it. A person might say, I've seen Grease, literally, dozens of times." "That *is* silly, Karen." "No, but I only saw it three times. [she don't remember, the Queen of Soul... Please take me along when you slide on down--] "Truth or Dare, Karen." "Dare." "Get naked and do a whippet." "Cool. You have whippets?" "What's a whippet?" asked Erin. "It's nitrous oxide. You'll see." Howard brought back a box of whippets, a balloon, and a canister. And some smelling salts. "Those things really fry your brain, don't they?" said Josh, taking a deep hit off the bowl. "I'll live," said Karen, already naked. WHOOOSH. The balloon inflated. Howard pinched off the end and handed it to her. "What's *that* for," said Erin, about the smelling salt. "Watch." Karen brought the balloon to her lips and leaned back against Howard, her feet in Erin's lap. It deflated. "Oh shit," said Karen, in a voice about five octaves lower than normal. She smiled, made two fists; then her eyes rolled back and she slumped against Howard. "Wow," said Erin, tickling the soles of Karen's feet. "Looks intense." "It is. It only lasts for maybe a minute or so." Howard squeezed and broke the smelling salt and passed it back and forth under his girlfriend's nose. No response. "Oh shit," said Erin. "Gimme that," I said, and he gave me the smelling salt. I smelled it and got a boner. "Look at her nipples." They were frighteningly stiff. Howard pinched them. "Wow, like rocks." This is no smelling salt, How. This is fucking amyl. "Oops," he giggled. "Boy, is my face red or what?" "Amyl?" said Josh, and grabbed a capsule from Howard, squeezed it and inhaled deeply. "YEEEOOOWWW!!" and his head snapped back. Howard grabbed it from him quickly and revived Karen with it. Her hand slid between her thighs and she started lazily stroking herself. "Mmmmmm, did I miss anything?" She looked down at her hand. "What the hell am I doing?" We laughed. "Oh," said Erin. "I wanna try one." Before Josh could talk her out of it, she was handed a balloon. "If I faint," she said, "I better not wake up with my skirt up around my waist." She inhaled the balloon and after a few seconds began giggling uncontrollably. "Oh, hee hee, man, hee hee, what a rush, hee hee." After a few moments Erin returned to the planet. "I don't know," she said. "There's something in the air--" "Oh Lord." "Truth or Dare," Josh?" "Dare." Karen whispered something to Maria and her eyes opened wide and she nodded vigorously. The both ran back towards the bedrooms. When they returned, Maria had a violin bow in one hand and a cube of rosin in the other. She twisted the knob on the end of the bow, tightened it, and began rosining it. "Hey, what the hell--" said Josh, staring at the bow. "Not enough amyl on the planet--" Erin laughed. "You're not planning on doing any permanent damage to him, are you?" Karen opened her hand. In it was a butt-harp. "It's called a butt harp, Josh. I found it in the city last time I went home. Have been saving it." "It looks evil." "It's completely benign, she said, swinging it like a bolo. "Honest. You'll see. So will Howard." "Huh?" "Oh, come on, we know you're not shy." "I'm game," said Josh. "Fine, said Howard. "So, take off your pants and underwear and be on all fours, both of you." "Oooh," said Erin. "I think I'm gonna like this. I want another whippet." I gave it to her and she inhaled it and when Howard and Josh backed next to each other, their butts nearly touching, her hand disappeared inside her skirt. "All right," said Karen. "Now we've got some meat. Hold on, I'll be right back." She came back while she was pulling on some latex gloves. "Gotta be responsible, you know." Josh gasped as she slid the ball into him. The other end went into Howard. "Walk forward a little, Howard, until it's tight. He did. Karen took off the gloves and plucked the wire. "Hey," said Howard. "Can I have a beer?" SMACK! His ass reddened from where she'd slapped it. He got hard. "The bow." Maria handed it to her. I did a shot of the tequila and looked at Karen It looked as if she were trying to memorize every detail and store it away as fodder for future fantasies. I knew she'd get mileage out of *this* tableau. She dragged the bow across the wire. Josh and Howard both shuddered. "Wow!" I pulled Maria over against me and slid my hand up along her thigh. Her eyes were riveted on Josh and Howard and she was very wet. Erin had moved her other hand between a couple buttons on her shirt and was unabashedly working herself over. "Turn over," said Karen. "I wanna try something." She helped both of them roll onto their backs. The wire was an inch or so off the carpet. Erin gasped when she saw how hard they both were and increased her ministrations. "Erin," she said. "Get your hand out of your twat and come here." She did. Karen straddled Howard and lowered herself slowly onto him, grabbing Josh like a stickshift to steady herself. "Oh my." Erin removed Karen's hand and, pulling her panties aside, squatted onto Josh and was soon moving in small circles on him. Karen leaned forward, her face in Erin's chest, and drew the bow across the wire. Erin screamed. "Did you feel that, Karen?! Do it again." Erin stopped moving and let Karen control all four of them with that bow, going from long strokes to shorter staccato ones, pausing every few measures to prolong it. Maria came grinding against my palm. "Maria," said Karen. "Take over the bow wouldja?" She did. Karen sat up straight and pulled off her shirt. Erin unbuttoned her own. Maria started with the bow again, tweaking both girls' nipples with her free hand. Soon, both Erin and Karen were grinding away fiercely. I, lonesome, walked over and slid in behind Maria. Erin lifted up her skirt and we could see that Josh had come. "Howard, too," said Karen. "Oh. Me too," said Erin. "Mmmmmmm." "Oh yeah," said Karen. "Wow." We're still reeling. RICHH