Subject: I'M SO STUPID! (was Re: READ THIS--I'M SO HAPPY)
Message-ID: <richhCr14ot.HHu@netcom.com>
References: <lugo0001.770939986@gold>
Date: Tue, 7 Jun 1994 13:41:17 GMT
Lines: 40

     Oh, I'm so <STUPID!>happy! I'm back to the land of sanity<Oh, as
fucking if.>, I've rediscovered<the location of my clitoris!> my true self,
I've undergone a valuable learning experience<been...disciplined>! I
guess a few explanations are in order<No.  *YOU'RE* OUT OF ORDER! 
*YOU'RE* OUT OF ORDER!> . To be brief<Oh, we can but dream...>:
     I had a crush on someone for the LONGEST time<translation:  have
been stalking>. I always had sneaking<a-HA!> suspicions that it could
never work-- he's a nice Catholic boy<I'm...SATAN!>; I'm not even a nice
Christian girl<I've...you know...hee...padiddled>; he likes heavy metal<I
like heavy water>; I think it sounds like music to kill yourself by<Oh...we
fucking *wish*>;  he's emotionally distant; I 'm open<to taking huge
liberties with punctuation>. But still, the pointless crush went on (I'm sure
everybody knows how THOSE are<Being stalked by braindead bimbos,
oh yeah.  Major BTDT>.) 
     Finally, we had a long talk todaythat<hmmmm> boiled<his favorite
RABBIT!> down to one thing (although he didn't want to a;*dmit<and
here, the savvy reader notes, our cow-breasted author exhibits a disdain
of near-Beckwithian proportions for traditional punctuation> it in so many
words<*SO* many, so so many>,)-- I would upset his<stomach, as is my
wont> "nice Catholic boy:" state too much. Ina<Sumac?  Thurman?
Lupino??  Where ya goin with this, babe?) flash, I realized the truth<We
*are* alone in the universe.  Truly, truly alone.  Oh well,  least I give
good head.  I'm so silly!>-- the WORST thing that could have happened
would have been if he had told me he was INTERESTED<DOH!>. I
realized too, that I am and have always been a therat<to society, to
proper spelling, to...NIXON?!> to people like that-- a sexual threat, an
intellectual<Oh, puh-lease.>.  threat--  and I'm GL:AD<Beckwith, we
hardly know ye.> ! (I once made a guy change his mind about being a
priest. True story<Yup, foced him at gunpoint...but it worked!  Hee.  I'm
so silly!>.) 
     So, although I would have thought that I'd be miserable, I'm not!
I've never been happier in my life!<Oh it is to retch.>

     Love and Kisses,
     The Cute and Sexy  Redhead
     <poopyface>

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RICHH