HOW NOT TO GET LAID IN ALT.SEWING

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> From: euafri@eua.ericsson.se (Fredrik.Ostman)
> Newsgroups: alt.sewing
> Subject: Re: Freak Problems
> Date: 23 Oct 91 15:19:21 GMT
> Organization: Ellemtel Telecom Systems Labs, Stockholm, Sweden
> Lines: 23
> Nntp-Posting-Host: euas20.eua.ericsson.se

> *Underlining* and *Interfacing* are two different things, aren't they?[1]
> Interfacing is used to increase strength in hems and collars etc.,
> whereas Underlining is a layer of lighter fabric cut with the same pattern
> as the _fabric_, and "sandwiched" with this to improve the _fall_ of the
> garment and also to hold pattern markings, hems and interfacing. :-)[2]
> This is a haute couture[3] technique, so you don't fuse the intefacing[4]
> but stitch it into place. :-I
--
>   ______                     _~                [5]
>  (_/_ _  _  _/) _  . /)     / ) , _/)     _    [5]
> __/ _/(_(/_(/__/(_/_/Z_    (_/_/)_/__/))_(I_/)_[5]

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Poor Fred. He's doing just about everything wrong. First off, he makes the
near-fatal error of getting way too technical. This, coupled with the
ultra-macho sentence structures is gonna end up leaving Fred high and very
dry. That technical buzzword approach might come up with some tail in
alt.power.tools or alt.farm.equipment, but alt.sewing? Forget it. Prepare
yourself for another long, lonely night by the Singer, perfecting what
history will call the "right hand occupied stitch"

Now, on to specific errors:

[1] & [2]: Asking a question and then answering it yourself. Not only is
this passive-aggressive behavior of the worst sort, it's a real turn-off as
well. Oh yeah, and nix the smiley. A post from a guy in alt.sewing is by
definition a smiley.

[3]. You were on the right track here, dropping in a little French, but you
introduce it so unsubtly that we really feel like puking. Next time, try "My
older sister points out that this is a haute couture technique. Thanks, sis.
I washed and folded your clothes, BTW. Kiss, kiss." Note how much better
this is. Not only do we introduce the character of the older female sibling,
but we also imply incest. The reader is of course free to infer
tongue-action, if that be her thang.

[4]. Nothing sucks the life from a post like a typo.

[5]. Not bad. Not bad at all.

Here then, is the revised post:


> Growing up in a house with four older sisters can be pretty hard on a guy
> (Note how we generate sympathy *and* empathy for the author here, *and*
> sneak in the phrase 'hard on'.  Always thinking) I used to hate all the
> teasing I would get at the schoolyard, but now that I am older I see
> things through very different eyes (though they remain steely blue). I
> realize that the countless hours I spent learning to sew while the other
> boys were in the Little League was not for naught, but rather. . .

Hope this helps.