Newsgroups: alt.butt.harp
Subject: RICHH:  BUSTED!
Message-ID: <1992May17.082312.23688@tigger.jvnc.net>
From: richh@tigger.jvnc.net (RICHH)
Date: Sun, 17 May 1992 08:23:12 GMT
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     James and I got busted for underage drinking.  A cop called
our parents and told them we had a choice:  either pay a three
hundred or so dollar fine or pay seventy-five and attend weekly AA
classes for the summer.  
     We picked the latter.
     Once a week we would get drunk, stoned, and head over to these
classes, held in a church and held specifically for minors who'd
been caught with alcohol or a joint or so.
     There were maybe a hundred of us all together and we were
broken into groups, each of which was run by a former alcoholic. 
They passed out charts, pamphlets, etc. and lectured us against the
dangers of letting our lives turn out like theirs had.  James and
I had a field day.  Most all of the other kids there were the dregs
of teen humanity, while James was president of our Honor Society
and I was, well, me.
     One day, the woman who led our group was explaining how very
risky it was to take both quaaludes and alcohol together, that if
you take a certain amount of both you could lapse into a coma and
die.
     "Well, how many?" said a particularly-scummy member of our
group.
     "How many what?"
     "How many 'ludes can I take, before I die?  I wanna do one
less."
     We were rolling.
     She passed out a chart to all of us, showing a graph that
compared body weight to intoxication.
     "If you weigh so and so and drink such and such, you will feel
drunk, lose your sense of balance, your reaction time will
suffer..."  She added more drinks.  "And if you drink this many,
you can pass out...fall into a coma...die."
     I raised my hand.
     "Yes?"
     "Well, if after nine drinks in two hours you pass out, how can
you ever drink enough to make it to the coma part, or die?"
     "Um, er--"
     "I guess if one of your friends hooks up an IV..."
     "That's enough."
     We bought a loose joint off of the 'lude guy and ate a pizza. 
 
RICHH