The (mis)adventures of a macintosh administrator.

2010-07-27T13:42:47Z

At one of Quentin Crisp's question and answer sessions in his one-man show,

a girl in the audience asked 'What is the quickest remedy for a broken heart?'

to which he replied:

'The quickest remedy is that you must learn not to

value love because it is requited.

It makes no difference whether your love is returned.

Your love is of value to you because you give it.

It's as though you gave me a present merely because

you thought I'd give you one in return.

This won't do.

If you have love to give, you give it and you give it where it is needed,

but never, never ask for anything in return.

Once you've got that into your head, the idea of your heart being broken will disappear.'

The sky from my road looking north.

2010-07-19T17:59:29Z

- Posted from my iPhone

WHY DO YOU STAY UP SO LATE? By Don Paterson

2010-07-18T14:47:17Z

I'll tell you, if you really want to know:

remember that day you lost two years ago

at the rockpool where you sat and played the jeweler

with all those stones you'd stolen from the shore?

Most of them went dark and nothing more,

but sometimes one would blink the secret color

it had locked up somewhere in its stony sleep.

This is how you knew the ones to keep.

So I collect the dull things of the day

in which I see some possibility

but which are dead and which have the surprise

I don't know, and I've no pool to help me tell--

so I look at them and look at them until

one thing makes a mirror in my eyes

then I paint it with the tear to make it bright.

This is why I sit up through the night.

- Posted (badly) from my iPhone

Return trip.

2010-07-09T22:34:02Z

It was 2006, I was in Boston, taking the green line downtown and had just entered the underground station.

The lines at the cashier windows on both sides of the turnstiles were long.

A tall soldier, dressed in camouflage carrying a large duffle bag over his shoulder was staring at the lines too, obviously confused.

I had already pre-purchased tokens (this was before they were phased out)

and told him to follow me.

I thumbed a gold token into the turnstiles for each of us.

We went through and I found the stairs to the tracks.

A few minutes of waiting I found him again.

He still looked nervous and lost.

I asked him where he was headed, he told me he was

heading to a base for deployment to Afghanistan.

I told him which stop he wanted to switch to the rail trains.

He thanked me and turned to face the subway arriving in the station.

"Here" I said, and pressed another token into his hand.

"What's this for?" he asked.

"You'll need it for the ride home." I said, and walked to the opening doors.

You Are There by Erica Jong

2010-07-09T05:51:22Z

You are there.

You have always been there.

Even when you thought you were climbing you had already arrived.

Even when you were breathing hard, you were at rest.

Even then it was clear you were there.

Not in our nature to know what is journey and what arrival.

Even if we knew we would not admit.

Even if we lived we would think we were just germinating.

To live is to be uncertain.

Certainty comes at the end.

Slowing tranquility

2010-06-23T20:13:38Z

You have learned to enjoy the attribute of patience in itself, for it slows time, honors tranquility, and lets you savor a world in which you are clearly aware that your passage is but a brief candle. - Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Pain is a gift.

2010-06-13T16:29:35Z

When you were boys we ended every dinner cooked outside on the grill by toasting marshmallows. One day last year I found the perfect sticks at the supermarket. How could I not think of you? Long dowels with pointed ends wrapped in a plastic bag, despite their intended purpose they were made just for getting the marshmallows past the lip of the kettle deep towards the orange and grey coals. I bought them, brought them home. Even though I live alone.

They sit, on top of my fridge, out of sight. But when I do catch a glimpse of them you're with me, even for just a moment.

- Posted from my iPhone

From Adrienne Rich's "Twenty-One Love Poems"

2010-06-10T20:46:29Z

No one's fated or doomed to love anyone./ The accidents happen, we're not heroines,/ they happen in our lives like car crashes,/ books taht change us, neighborhoods/ we move into and come to love./ Tristan und Isolde is scarcely the story,/ women at least should know the difference/ between love and death. No poison cup,/ no penance. Merely a notion that the tape-recorder/ should have caught some ghost of us: that tape-recorder/ not merely played but should have listened to us,/ and could instruct those after us:/ this we were, this is how we tried to love,/ and there are the forces they had ranged against us,/ and these are the forces we hand ranged within us,/ within us and against us, against us and within us.

Memorial Day by Dennis Caraher

2010-05-31T16:20:09Z

High school band. Memorial Day.
Country cemetery. Marched all the way.
We stood in formation, took off our caps.
Stood with the nation, we played taps

Year before Kennedy, year before King.
Last year I cared about anything.
But for that moment, we were one.
Honoring soldiers

At Arlington.

Notes drifted across the plains.
Swallows signaled oncoming rain.
Station wagons, pickup trucks
Rescued us then turned to rust

We put on new uniforms
Crisp, creased. Tattered, well-worn
Some forget where we come from
Some come to rest

In Arlington

When he was twelve, took my only son
Lost ourselves in the Smithsonian
Then Abraham, above the Mall.
Then raised our hands, touched the wall.

Headstone horizon, eternal flame
Unknown lie with familiar names
Sacrificed daughters and sons
So I could cry

At Arlington.

After a Noisy Night by Laure-Anne Bosselaar

2010-04-21T09:08:35Z

The man I love enters the kitchen
with a groan, he just
woke up, his hair a Rorschach test.
A minty kiss, a hand
on my neck, coffee, two percent milk,
microwave. He collapses
on a chair, stunned with sleep,
yawns, groans again, complains
about his dry sinuses and crusted nose.
I want to tell him how
much he slept, how well,
the cacophony of his snoring
pumping in long wheezes
and throttles--the debacle
of rhythm--hours erratic
with staccato of pants and puffs,
crescendi of gulps, chokes,
pectoral sputters and spits.
But the microwave goes ding!
A short little ding! - sharp
as a guillotine--loud enough to stop
my words from killing the moment.
And during the few seconds
it takes the man I love
to open the microwave, stir,
sip and sit there staring
at his mug, I remember the vows
I made to my pillows, to fate
and God: I'll stop eating licorice,
become a blonde, a lumberjack,
a Catholic, anything,
but bring a man to me:
so I go to him: Sorry, honey,
sorry you had such a rough night,
hold his gray head against my heart
and kiss him, kiss him.

An actual chat session transcript, or "everything I needed to know I learned from Comic Books".

2010-03-30T05:17:59Z

A friend and I chatting about fear and dreams.

- Posted from my iPhone

She paints pictures with chicken

2010-03-29T04:04:46Z

- Posted from my iPhone

Here's to the old Me.

2010-03-26T03:14:10Z

1994. Working at Nickelodeon on Blues Clues. Look how happy this kid is. NYC is about to eat him up and spit him out.

Oh well.

- Posted from my iPhone

Happiness Makes Up in Height for What It Lacks in Length by Robert Frost

2010-03-24T07:34:12Z

Oh, stormy stormy world,
The days you were not swirled
Around with mist and cloud,
Or wrapped as in a shroud,
And the sun's brilliant ball
Was not in part or all
Obscured from mortal view--
Were days so very few
I can but wonder whence
I get the lasting sense
Of so much warmth and light.
If my mistrust is right
It may be altogether
From one day's perfect weather,
When starting clear at dawn,
The day swept clearly on
To finish clear at eve.
I verily believe
My fair impression may
Be all from that one day
No shadow crossed but ours
As through its blazing flowers
We went from house to wood
For change of solitude.

- Posted from my iPhone late late at night.

Fun with bash

2010-03-24T05:09:59Z

- Posted from my iPhone